Ending First World Suffering by Learning, not Effort or Demanding

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Week Two - - - Day Three

Learning 

Is Noticing Differences that make a difference

Emotional maturity/ freedom/ peacefulness learning


Most of unhappiness is so totally unnecessary and a certain kind of learning will help to quickly and rapidly “un-do” this suffering.

How?


Watch this . . . 


You are walking along a path in a park or along a shore or in the woods. Nature is grand, you are enjoying your footsteps and the blue sky and life is good.

Then suddenly it pops into your head how your mate said some sour not-so-nice thing to you that morning.

You mull it.

You go over it.

And even more, you have a set of words in the should or shouldn’t world.

They shouldn’t have been so . . . (any words will do, disrespectful, mean, grumpy, inconsiderate, blah blah blah)

Or,

They should have been  . . . (nicer, more considerate, friendlier, more fair, blah blah blah)


Now here’s the thing:

The woods, park, shore is still there.

The blue sky is still there.

And yet your peace is all shot to hell.


And who did it?

Did you mate jump into your head from afar?

Did the past send an arrow into your heart that said: time to start suffering.


No.

But your thinking came along.

And you decided to pay attention to it and to believe it.


So, there you are in the park: who is causing your suffering?

You are.


And what does this have to do with learning, you might ask?


Well, for starts, you can learn the difference: walking without thinking vs walking with thinking, or more clearly: walking with grateful and nature oriented thinking vs walking with complaining poor-me/ bad-them thinking.

Alas.

We cause our own suffering?

Yes, and do not, do NOT, DO NOT take my word for it.


Try this out, over and over and over.


Learning and Love Game #1

Next time you start feeling bad about your partner

Stop and find something to write on

Write down a short “should” or “shouldn’t” sentence that encapsulates the feeling bad.

Look closely at this sentence.

Pick a spot, the Believe My Thinking Spot.

Stand in this spot and read the should/ shouldn’t and see how you feel. Maybe even write or say the list of how you feel.

Now, the learning, the difference, the shift . . .

Move to another spot, let’s call it the Freedom Spot.

In the freedom spot try out either 

One: Not believing the set of words that is the should/ shouldn’t sentence.

Two: Going to no thinking, to be in ten fingers and breathing and seeing the sky land.


Learning is noticing the difference.

Go back and forth between the 

Believing My Thinking Spot

and the

Freedom Spot


This may seem besides the point, or “too much trouble.”

And it is one of the most important realizations in the world:

BELIEVING OUR THINKING IS THE MAJOR SOURCE OF FIRST WORLD SUFFERING. 


If you are in the third world, starving or being raped, then it is not your believing your thinking that is causing your suffering. (And is the root of why these assholes who say “You create your own reality” are so unconsciously cruel).

But with food and shelter and safety from violence, almost everyone in the first world makes their life miserable almost exclusively by this mechanism:

Believing their own Thinking


And note:

THIS WORK, BACK AND FORTH FREEOM SPOT AND BELIEVING IT SPOT, IS NOT ABOUT “GETTING RID OF YOUR BELIEFS.”

IT’S ABOUT LEARNING.


Learning the difference:

This is my being when I believe my story.

This is who I am when I don’t.


Back and forth and your own wisdom will begin to lose it’s attachment.

Not from “trying” to be less attached.

Not from “being spiritually good” by letting go of beliefs.

But a very simple selfish wish to suffer less.


Suffering less is good.


Suffering is a wake up call. You are believing a story, an opinion, a thought.

And the way out: jump to the freedom spot and see what the world is like there.

Learning is a great game to play at the center of every life. Enjoy it.