Touch as gateway: some games to change your life.

Tahoe during our meditation retreat in May! With Adyashanti. Amazing how fun stillness is and the snow makes it even more still, fun, spacious.

Tahoe during our meditation retreat in May! With Adyashanti. Amazing how fun stillness is and the snow makes it even more still, fun, spacious.

Week One - - - Day Two

LUST, part one:

We are mammals. We are meant to. . .


Today is a day to be grateful. 

They all are.

Today is a day to be present.

They all are.

(Now is the moment to be present.

They all are.)

Today is a day to connect to nature.

They all are.


Today is a day to touch.

They all are.

We are mammals.

We are warm blooded.

We are meant to touch.

And . . .

 not all of us live with someone. And some of us live with someone with whom we’ve forgotten how to touch, or are even “turned off” to touching.

God Bless us all.

No matter what our circumstances: we are mammals. Touch feeds a certain need in us that we all, hopefully, felt as infants, when being cuddled, or nursed, or passed from friendly adult to friendly adult.

Or as children in our silly play as we formed “pig piles,” or concocted other ways of delighting in touch.

If our family was lucky, there were a lot of hugs.

And, one of life’s great truths is this

THE PAST HAS PASSED. IT’S OVER. Good family: great. Not so great family: great. There are people around, right now, dying to be hugged. Everywhere.

Weirdness/ Aliveness Challenge.

Hug someone within the next hour.

Someone you know and like.

Someone you know and don’t like.

Someone you don’t know.

Tell them you are reading a book of transformation and fun, and this is a weirdness challenge. Tell them you love learning and want to discover what happens when you ask a bunch of people to hug. Tell them you are a mammal and feel it’s a duty to the mammal within us all. Or ask: would you like to hug? And skip all the reasons.

They say yes, Hug.

They say no, smile and say, okay, great, I might ask again tomorrow. Thanks for considering. Or thanks for your smile, or your blue eyes, or any damn thing.

They are alive.

Notice this.

And weirdness?

Is this good?


One reason I am in Austin, having “given it a try” in October of 2010, without ever having been here and only barely knowing two people here who didn’t get back to me for about six months after I moved here, one reason I moved here was that I was charmed by the unofficial city slogan: Keep Austin weird.

Please think about what is weird in you and if you don’t yet honor it, consider, with deep and relaxed breathing, and smiling, and even writing gratitudes first: how can I honor and love my weirdness more.

Weirdness Challenge #2:

Right now, think of a weirdness in you that is waiting to be honored, loved or appreciated more.

Do it.

Write it out as a gratitude: I’m grateful for this weirdness . . . 

Find out if you are struck by lightning.

And back to touch:

You’ve hugged someone already, or are going to in the next 55 minutes.

And now it’s time for something very simple.

If you have a partner.

Touch and Truth exercise #1:

Sit across from a friend or a partner.

Share four or five gratitude back and forth twice.

Breathe deeply.


Hold hands.

Share four or five gratitudes back and forth twice while holding hands.

What differences did you notice?

Noticing differences that make a difference is what real learning/ transformation is about.

This book will be full of learning.

Enjoy this.

And if you don’t have a partner, or no friend is around just now, try this:

Touch and truth exercise #2:

Imagine the person you like most in the world.

Imagine doing the above exercise.

First not touching, in imagination.

Then touching, in imagination.

See what happens.

A lot of this book is discovery.

A lot of a good life is discovery.

Basically, this book is a sharing of discoveries I’ve made over fifty years or so. I’ll weave some memoir stuff in to give a little background, but basically, this is games for you to try and to learn from.

And have fun with.

And here’s a weird one.

Oh, well . . . 

Touch and truth and release exercise #3:

If you have a parent, dead or alive, with whom emotions are no overflowing in love, do the exercise #2.

Imagine telling them a few gratitudes, and then telling you a few. Use your heart and creativity to allow them to say some gratitudes.

Imagine these same or different gratitudes while holding hands.

This is weird.


Feel your heart and how it feels and don’t think about it, but breath into any pain or any love or any anything that comes up.

Life is to be lived.

Touch helps get this happening.

(There will be tons of exercises to get us free of the suffering we have ourselves still attached to via our parents and past partners, all crucial work if we want to find a soul mate, or make more clear our love and overflowing with our present mate.  For now, just consider this: just because we have a thought or a feeling, it might not be true. Don’t stew about this or try to figure it out. 

All in good time.)

And now for a quick game to play, touching and all you need is two hands:

Touching and healing: One hand to another, #1

Take your right hand.

Hold it in front of you and smile at it.

Take your left hand.

Hold it in front of you and smile at it.

Not take your left thumb and find three juicy and willing spots in your right palm and do happy circles in your right palm with your left thumb.

Nine times circling one way.

Nine times to other.

Three places.

Second: Take your left hand and massage up and down each of your right fingers twice. Little finger to thumb. Take a break. Then thumb to little finger.


Notice two differences:

How the hands in general feel after aware and touching movement with both.

Notice also the difference between the “giving” hand and the “getting” hand.

(Notice, if you want, the way the giving hand “gets”)

If you are left handed, switch this around.

Touching and healing, #2

If you can’t get to sleep at night, play this game with slow and aware breathing and see what happens.

Huge parts of the brain and devoted to the hand and especially the thumb.

This is a way to calm a big part of you.

Touching and healing #3:

If in a grumpy mood with your partner, ask if it’s okay to massage their hand a bit and then do this.

Don’t discuss the “issue.”

Just touch and get out of your heads and see what happens.

Lots more touch, including genital stuff, and very very simple stuff like sleeping together naked.

And for now: try the thumb to the other hand’s palm.

Try holding hands and sharing gratitudes, or imagining doing that.

You know, it’s kind of obvious that if we do the same things we always did, we’ll get the same results we always have.

Clearly in these first two days, you’ve got a lot of fun and new games to try out/ explore/ discover. This is life, right?

Learning, love, laughing, expanding.   

Enjoy  your day.