We are mammals: let's touch up our lives

W+H5nfsDTTOBJnpPjU7IGA.jpg

Week One - - - Day Two

LUST, part one:

We are mammals. We are meant to. . .

TOUCH


Today is a day to be grateful. 

They all are.

Today is a day to be present.

They all are.

(Now is the moment to be present.

They all are.)

Today is a day to connect to nature.

They all are.

And…

Today is a day to touch.

They all are.


And not all of us live with someone. And some of us live with someone with whom we’ve forgotten how to touch, or are even “turned off” to touching.

God Bless us all.

No matter what our circumstances: we are mammals. Touch feeds a certain need in us that we all, hopefully, felt as infants, when being cuddled, or nursed, or passed from friendly adult to friendly adult.

Or as children in our silly play as we formed “pig piles,” or concocted other ways of delighting in touch.

If our family was lucky, there were a lot of hugs.


And, one of life’s great truths is this

THE PAST HAS PASSED. IT’S OVER.


No matter how much or how little touch we received as children, we can bring more touch into our lives now.

One is so simple that I’m almost reluctant to offer it.

And yet…IT WORKS. 

THIS SIMPLE GAME WORKS - - - ONE HAND TOUCHES ANOTHER!


Give this a try, no matter how “silly” this seems.

But only if you want a better, richer, more real, more joyful, and delighted, and more sensuous and youthful life.

Want to to be more real?

Want to have more connection?

Good, we all do.


And . . .

Huge portions of our brains are devoted to our hands, which do and have done so many skilled and interesting and complicated actions and learnings in our life. If you doubt this, hand (notice the word) a young baby a spoon.


Enjoy and learn:


Touching Game/ Exercise #1: ONE HAND TOUCHES THE OTHER

Notice which hand is your dominant one. Let’s call it the USUAL hand.

Put it in front of you and look at it.

Feel and even say gratitudes for having this hand.

Now, put up your non-dominant hand and gaze at it. Let’s call it the NON-HABITUAL HAND.

Feel and say gratitudes to this hand.


Notice the difference just this makes, being grateful to both hands.


Your NON-HABITUAL HAND hand is going to explore, massage, and generally “make nice” to your usual hand.

In at least three ways.

Here are some starter possibilities.


One: Your NON-HABITUAL HAND hand squeezes the USUAL hand in three places, over and over, to bring out awareness and ease and ??? in those three areas.

Do this with variation of pressure.

And . . . slow down

And . . . breathe deeply and enjoy your breathing as you do this

If doing circles as part of the squeezing, change directions of the circles.

Make the circles bigger/ smaller/ less round/ more round.


Rest a bit after doing these and feel the difference between the hands. And feel the difference in YOU with two hands more bright and clear in awareness.


Two: Your NON-HABITUAL HAND pets, in a stroking and friendly manner, the top, the palm and the sides of your USUAL hand.

Do this slowly and with a delight in the exploration and the sensations. Sensations in each hand.

AT THE POINT OF CONTACT: 

ONE HAND RECEIVES AND FEELS, 

ONE HAND GIVE AND FEELS.

SENSE BOTH, BACK AND FORTH


Rest and notice the difference in yourself overall, and the difference from hand to hand.

Perhaps experiment with the idea and actuality of “breathing into” each hand, one at a time.


Three: In some way, or ways, use your NON-HABITUAL hand, to explore the fingers of the USUAL hand, one at a time. 

Pinkie. 

Ring Finger.

 Middle Finger. 

Pointer Index.

Thumb. 

Give each USUAL hand finger at least one up and down caress/ squeeze/ exploration/ massage-like touching.

Enjoy breathing deeply as you do this.

Strangely enough, sensing your pelvis and your feet while you do this will enhance the experience.

Or will it?

Explore and discover for yourself.


Take your time with each of these.

Keep delighting in noticing the two differences:

Hand to hand differences.

Start of the game vs now differences.


HINT: IF YOU WAKE UP IN INSOMNIA LAND, THIS CAN BE VERY KIND AND VERY SOOTHING TO YOURSELF

Let’s put in it bold and give it a number. 

Now it’s official . . .


Touch Game/ Exercise #2

Next time you are awake at night and want to feel more peaceful..

Let one hand explore, caress and otherwise enjoy the other hand

Follow and deepen your breathing as you do this

Notice and deepen your awareness of the bed as appreciating you and supporting you as you do this


To rub one hand with another sets up neurological connections that could well be vast enough to push aside the usual yammer/ worry/ and planning that fill the brain with worthless words in the head when you can’t sleep.


And, if you have a partner, and are halfway normal, you will have times when things get a little funky between you.

Sex might clear and heal, but sometimes we are too annoyed to soften and let that happen.

And so . . .  hand touching to the rescue.


So here’s an optional game, because as the book progresses, we’ll have more and more ways to calm the waters between couples. And to sweeten the waters.

This is a handy start. ( Ha ha???)


Touch/ Healing Game #3:

 IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER AND YOU JUST CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO REPAIR SOME EMOTIONAL STRAIN IN THE GAME of living with and “loving” (usually) another person…. 


OR : YOU JUST WANT TO SPEND SOME NON-VERBAL “QUALITY TIME” WITH YOUR PARTNER, 

OR, IF YOU WANT A WAY TO CONNECT THAT’S MUCH HARDER TO SCREW UP THAN TALKING . . .


Take YOUR TWO HANDS TO ONE OF THEIRS, and touch your way back into the present of the present

Don’t talk

Explore, caress, massage, connect with your two hands to one of theirs, preferably the dominant, since it tends to work too hard


PS

Moaning with pleasure is okay.


Do this pretty soon, if you have a partner/ mate/ spouse around.  And . . .


One more game. Let’s combine day one and day two: Touch plus gratitudes.


Touch Game/ Exercise #4

TOUCH PLUS GRATITUDES

Sit or stand across from another person.

Hold hands.

Share gratitudes.

Alternate a gratitude about the other person, and a gratitude about Life.

Go back and forth a number of times.

Smile, breathe and take in the connection in the hands and in your hearts.

Notice and share what difference this made.


Enjoy your day.