Week Two - - - Day Nineteen
Love as Relaxation
Love as Giving Up
Love as Taking Charge
Love as a big, wonderful fun game
Love as Life
You are alive, right?
How do you know that?
Right now, I mean.
Right now, really.
You are alive. Awareness game #7
Go to a window
Crouch / squat until your legs get a little heated up
Take the insides of your hands, the little finger side, and rub them up and down on your ribs. (Palms will be facing up. Just the little finger edge is rubbing your ribs)
Count your breathing and match it to your body:
One: Right leg, out to the toes
Two: Right arm, out to the fingers
Three: Left arm, out to the fingers
Four: Left leg, out to the toes
Five: Spine ribs and pelvis
Six: Everything, adding on sensing your heart area
Do this at least three times, preferably five
Then breathe out and hold your breath out as long as you can, while smiling
Then breathe in and hold your breath, again, while smiling
Then straighten up and wiggle and walk around a little
By now, hopefully, you realize the advantage of slogging through the instructions and getting some very interesting results. Exploring something different.
And noticing . . .
Noticing the differences moving makes.
And having your attention as a shifting focus.
And the delight of breathing.
And even the delight of holding your breath.
This isn’t a bad break every hour or so.
If the weather and your situation are such that you can go outside to do this, so much the better.
If you can take your shoes off and have some contact with the Earth, even through concrete or some sort of walkway, even better.
Earth, air, light.
Heaven and Earth, and we humans in between with our air and our breathing and our awareness.
It’s a pretty good game, this life game.
And what’s that go to do with love?
A lot, actually.
Because . . . you remember what it was like to be a kid and have a friend or friends. You’d do fun stuff, that was always a lot more fun if you were doing it with a friend.
And love . . . someone around to have fun with.
To wake up to the present with.
To take a walk with.
To do the above exercise/ game with.
To do any game, exercise with, or ride a bike, or row a canoe.
To make love with.
To make out with.
To make in with.
To make a life with.
To touch and rub.
To talk and listen and enjoy each other’s company.
AND, OH SHIT, SOMETIMES WE DON’T ENJOY THE OTHER PERSON’S COMPANY.
They annoy us.
They hurt our feelings (which means we interpret whatever they did in such a way that we hurt our own feelings - - - and don’t believe that, but do the work of Byron Katie any time you forget where your suffering is coming from).
They do something on our No/ No list.
And what are we to do?
You already have at least four things to do:
The work of Byron Katie.
Play the I’m right/ you’re wrong generic argument game.
Complain in gibberish and write and/or speak “WE GOALS”
Hold hands and share gratitudes..
Here’s something of a combined version, copied from a teacher of success in the Feldenkrais® world:
Rant, gratitude, goals.
Which is just the same as complain in gibberish (my clever discovery, to let you work off steam and not work up the other person) and then go to WE GOALS.
GRATITUDE ADDS POWER TO EVERYTHING.
So, let’s make this a humor and love game.
Humor and love restoration game #4:
When you feel aggrieved.
Take a couple of breaths, or do something like the former exercise, till you are ready to commit to making things better instead of complaining.
Then ask for a gibberish, gratitude and goals session.
If they don’t agree, do it on your own.
One. Complain in GIBBERISH. Exaggerate the emotions and the wounded baby aspects.
Two: Hold hands and give GRATITUDES.
If you are both in the game, each share gratitudes after each does the gibberish
Three: come up with GOALS,
WE GOALS, FOR THE BETTERMENT OF BOTH OF YOU.
Hold hands and go take a walk.
This, is not what our mindless, parent copying, self-pitying, blaming self wants to do.
Oh, well. It can seemingly take forever, but some of us, slowly and not even so surely, learn that complaining, blaming, self-pity, attacking, withdrawing all lead to less than spectacular results.
So, now we have a way family easy to remember . . . G, G, G
And in a way, this is crucial in our whole life.
Because there are always going to be setbacks, always times of disappointment.
And we get twerked, so the gibberish let’s us get it out.
The gratitudes takes us back closer to who we really are, creatures of God/ great Spirit, Life Energy, Source Energy, full of wonder and awe and gratitude at this miracle of Life.
And Goals gives us a direction that we WANT to go, instead of complaining or worrying focusing us on what we DON”T want.
LOVE AS LETTING GO
ONE MORE GAME FOR TODAY
The game/ practice/ exercise of “letting go” is a great game. And, sometimes it is impossible, and then . . . to our rescue, the work of Byron Katie
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know this is true?
How do I react, feel and live when I believe this thought/ story/ opinion/ belief?
Who or what would I be without this thought/ story/ opinion/ belief?
And sometimes it’s possible.
A kind of wise laziness, of “let me just drop this and be at peace.”
The light shouldn’t be red so long.
Drop it and enjoy the wait.
My mate shouldn’t be in a bad mood.
Drop it and enjoy smiling and sending peace their way.
So and so should be on time.
Let it go, and find someone else to talk to. Or look at the sky. Or do an energy exercise or a push up. (Recommend . . . Don’t get on your smart phone when someone is late. That’s countering a time suck with a time suck. Drop it/ let go of thinking your time is getting cheated somehow and use the time as a vacation to be present.
And if they don’t show up for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes.
Let go of worrying what they’ll think if you leave, or if you start eating by yourself, or if you ask a stranger to join them.
Things are showing up differently than you had planned.
Letting go and going with the new reality . . . this gets you the touchdown and it gets you open to new and perhaps delightful possibilities.
Almost no one reading this book hasn’t had at least a couple handfuls full of situations where “things went wrong” and ended up far better/ more interesting than you’d imagined. Maybe even life changing.
So . . .
Peaceful Life Game/ Exercise #1
Feel moments of stress coming on.
Look at the Reality.
Let go of demanding Reality be different.
See what difference that makes.
And right now…
WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM BEING PRESENT?
FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH THE MOMENT AND WITH LIFE
Enjoy your day.